Smurf-smurfing surrender smurfs

This is the funniest thing I've ever read at WSJ's Best of the Web:

Shell Those Smurfs!
London's Daily Telegraph reports that Unicef has produced an "adult-only episode of 'The Smurfs.' " But this isn't a blue movie; rather, it depicts a mass smurficide:

It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand in hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom-shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.

The Smurfs scatter and run in vain from the whistling bombs, before being felled by blast waves and fiery explosions. The final scene shows a scorched and tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurfs.

The final frame bears the message: "Don't let war affect the lives of children."

Perversely, this film was shown on TV in Belgium, apparently with the idea of stirring up sympathy for the infuriatingly cloying figments--notwithstanding the Smurfs' history of aggression against Belgium. Indeed, it's no exaggeration to say that but for American blood and treasure, the Belgians would be speaking Smurfish today instead of Belch. This is no laughing matter, as Smurf.com notes:

The Smurfs speak a very strange language. Some words are replaced by "Smurf," as well as some of the verbs. Instead of saying, "I caught a cold in the nose," they would say, "I smurfed a smurf in the nose."

No wonder the Belgians are known as smurf-smurfing surrender smurfs.

Be sure to check out that "aggression against Belgium" link.