On Gentlemen

Yesterday, the Prince of Wales came out against what he called "fashionable teaching," claiming it was destroying English culture. I'll do him one better. I think "fashionable teaching" is destroying culture, end of statement.

One of the things that it is almost impossible to find taught anywhere is the Way of the Gentleman. I do believe there is such a thing as a gentleman, and I do not use the word casually. Being a true gentleman means acting appropriately in all situations, with honor, dignity and grace.

A long time ago I came across an article in a magazine, that I copied and saved. The article was about what it means to be a gentleman. It quoted from a handbook of the Virginia Military Institute. It is a code that does not recognize the change in women (i.e. "women's lib") that's occured over the last forty years .. which in my eyes makes it all the more credible and correct. I will now retype this code word for word, in the hopes that someone, somewhere, someday, will take something away from this, and remember it when in doubt about how they should act. Here goes.

"Without a strict observance of a fundamental code of honor, no man, no matter how 'polished', can be considered a gentleman. The honor of a gentleman demands the inviolability of his word and the incorruptibility of his principles. He is the descendant of the knight, the crusader, he is the defender of the defenseless and the champion of justice--or he is not a gentleman.

"A gentleman does not discuss his family affairs in public or with acquaintances;

"Does not speak more than casually about his wife or girlfriend;

"Does not go to a lady's house if he is affected by alcohol. He is temperate in the use of alcohol;

"Does not lose his temper nor exhibit anger, fear, hate, embarrassment, ardor or hilarity in public;

"Does not hail a lady from a club window;

"Never discusses the merits or demerits of a lady;

"Does not mention names, exactly as he avoids the mention of what things cost;

"Does not borrow money from a friend, except in dire need. Money borrowed is a debt of honor and must be repaid as soon as possible. Any debt incurred by a deceased parent, brother, sister or grown child are assumed by an honorable man as a debt of honor;

"Does not display his wealth, money or possessions;

"Does not put his manners on and off, whether in the club or in a ballroom. He treats people with courtesy, no matter what their social positions may be;

"Does not slap strangers on the back nor so much as lay a finger on a lady;

"Does not "lick the boots of those above him" nor "kick the face of those below him" on the social ladder;

"Does not take advantage of another's helplessness or ignorance and assumes that no gentleman will take advantage of him;

"A gentleman respects the reserves of others but demands that others respect those that are his;

"A gentleman can become what he wills to be."

A worthy code for any man, born in any age.